Oh Yes, Some More Good Pain!!

Week 3 has been a success so far!! I’m happy to say that I’ve not felt too tired [or sick] to work out and I’ve practically stuck to the workouts completely. I really hope the scale reflects all the hard work and pain I have gone through.

Although pain is not a fun feeling, it is a great one! I used to hate working out because of the pain; the pain even made me quit sometimes. But, now, I embrace the pain!! Pain means that my muscles are growing! Pain means that if I keep going, I will get stronger and stronger! Pain means that I am getting even closer to my goals. I like pain now.

Lately, the pain has been almost entirely in my arms; my biceps and triceps hurt a lot whenever I move them! I’ve also had some pain in my back but, unlike with Insanity, this is not the bad kind that immobilizes me. It just hurts and is kind of uncomfortable whenever I lay or sit down. My legs don’t really hurt much which is kind of a surprise; I actually enjoy leg pain! Usually Plyometrics makes my legs hurt, but not this week.

Alright, time to get real. Every time I step on the scale, I have mini freak outs. My numbers don’t seem to be going anywhere; not my weight or my inches!! It’s highly frustrating! The most frustrating thing about it though is that my clothes feel a lot looser. My size 12 work shirt needs to be turned in for a 10 or an 8. (I haven’t mentioned this to my GM yet because we don’t have any size 10 or 8 in the employee uniform closet and ordering new ones every few weeks seems trivial.) The 2 L size T-shirts that I do have are getting too big too! I tried on a medium shirt the other day (that didn’t fit me in high school) and it fit perfectly. The fabric wasn’t being stretched by my rolls and it was an awesome feeling!! It’s just frustrating to see that my weight and inches aren’t changing but I’m getting smaller?? What is that?! That doesn’t even make sense to me!! Usually people who don’t lose weight lose inches but that ain’t happening!! I’m hoping and praying that this dumb months-long plateau will be over soon and I will start to see results like in the first round of P90X. I only have 42 more pounds to lose!!! Ah!! I know that the last stretch of weight is the hardest, but really, why has my body been the same for several months!!??

Thankfully, we were able to buy some groceries to sustain ourselves for at least the next one or two weeks! Maybe getting my calories in, good calories, will help boost another round of weight loss. If not, I’m going to have to figure out something, whether that means getting another workout in or eating less/more. Whatever, I need to do something!!

Alright, so even though I had to half-rant about my progress, or rather lack thereof, I took a real long, hard look in the mirror the other day. I told myself that even if I don’t get to my goal by the end of the year, it doesn’t mean that I have failed. I’m obviously in this thing and am in it to win it. I told myself that no matter how long it takes, I won’t stop reaching for my goal. I want muscles and I won’t stop until I have them. And, even then, I won’t stop maintaining them. I’m in this thing and I’m not going to stop if it gets to the end of the year and I’m not 130 pounds. It’s really just that simple. I didn’t start this thing with a one-year limit and expect to quit as soon as 2012 was up. 2012 is my year and it has been my year. I learned the things that I needed to in order to reach my goals, I’ve successfully lost over 60 pounds since last year and I feel great! I’m not quitting. Besides, my goals are much more important than 130. Both PJ and I want me to be a healthy mommy so that I can carry our children easier than I could have at 236 pounds. I want to have energy for that child as well and I want our child to watch me be nice to my body and in turn want to be nice to his (yes, we are having a boy, lol). I want to be a role model for others as well.

The other day, I was telling my mom all the areas of my body that need work: upper thighs, arms, tummy, etc. She said something that I knew all along, but it stuck more than it ever has. She basically told me that it took years for my body to get to what it had gotten to and that years of abuse to it wouldn’t necessarily be erased all that easily. My mom didn’t say it as harsh as I paraphrased it, but ya know, sometimes tough love is what you need. She also told me that I might even have sagging skin (from being 100+ pounds more than I wanted to be) but that with time I could tone it up. It all made sense to me and kind of gave me a different perspective. Yeah, I was bad to my body. I ate the wrong food…A LOT…and I let myself get to 236 pounds. It was all me. PJ didn’t shove the nacho cheese into my mouth, I did. And, years of doing that will cause you to look like I did. But, as TH says “Rome was not built in a day and neither was your body.” I’ve come so far already and even though I’m still building, it won’t seem like such a hard journey once I reach my goal. I’m excited to see the end result even though going through it is kind of stressful and seems to take forever. It’s all worth it though!!

I have just a few more things to say before this blog comes to an end. I did something brave the other day. For most of Plyometrics and about 30 minutes of yoga, I worked out in my sports bra and underwear. Definitely brave on my part, but something that needed to be done as far as I am concerned. Every day that I exercise, I usually wear my sports bra and sport shorts. The only problem with the shorts is that they hide a good portion of my upper thigh and I can’t really see any muscle motion when I am wearing them. So, I decided to take those off the other day and see exactly what I was working with, lol. While not the most attractive site, not completely horrible and definitely not as bad as at 236 pounds. My thighs still have a long way to go but I can see where the muscle is whenever I do certain moves. :D If you haven’t tried it, I recommend it. (In a safe place where no one will walk in on you. It gets you more in tune with your body I think and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.)

Oh yeah, as I wrote last week, I had some trouble with that Plow and Shoulder Stance. On Thursday, I didn’t have any trouble at all. I took it slow and was able to hold it pretty well. I think I shall take things slow next time and the times after that.

Next week is Recovery Week for the first month. Not much has changed with my body but like I said, hopefully being able to get my calories in will help the process along.

Before I leave you, I want to make a shout out to Alex Miller. She told me recently that she bought Insanity and was pretty excited about it. I, too, am excited for her and am very proud as well. She is a mother of two and from what I read from Facebook, she is a pretty busy woman. Finding time to exercise is probably not the easiest things with two young ones, but dedication to a goal will make it all work out. Super proud of you Alex!! Keep up the good work and drink plenty of water…also, get ready for a butt-whoopin! ;)

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

^^The M size shirt that has no problem fitting me now :D #personalvictory#