On the good side of things, I started to feel Paisley’s little kicks; they are awesome even if some are ill timed (like when it’s way past my bed time…which happened last night or when she‘s positioned close to my bladder…which was probably just emptied. She‘s either lying on it or kicking it making me have to go again.) PJ has been able to feel them too. His first reaction was “That’s depressing…she’s growing up too fast.” (I think he was secretly shocked. How many times do you feel something in your wife’s tummy kick you?) His second reaction was a little different and much more welcomed by me (Afterall, who wants to hear “that’s depressing” when you think it’s one of the greatest things ever?) Paisley kicked him really hard last night and his “That’s crazy,” response made me laugh. I’m glad PJ can now get in on some of the action that I’ve been feeling for about a week now. I’m just so relieved to finally feel it. A lot of people who I know that are pregnant said that they felt the flutter of their babies at around week 18-19. Here I am in week 21 and just now feeling her kick. It was hard waiting but I’m finally glad that she had made herself known.
So far, the only ones who have experienced these little joys are PJ, his cousin Katie, and myself. I’m not sure I’m completely comfortable with many people touching my tummy. Katie is an exception because I feel comfortable around her and I thought she might enjoy feeling those little flutters that make me smile all the time. Feeling those kicks makes it even more real though I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that PJ and I are gonna have a baby.
On the not so good side of things, I still haven’t made that mental transition from living in Paducah to living in Marion. It doesn’t much feel like a homey atmosphere. Hopefully that will change when we find a place to call our own. We’ve lived with my parents before and it was hard then to establish some independence even though we felt more comfortable to roam around the house. Here, we are living with PJ’s parents and I don’t feel as comfortable. Grown men and women who are married are not meant to live with either set of parents. Period.
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As far as church is concerned. We have been going to a church called Genesis for the past 5-6 Sundays. They don’t have a Wednesday service, which is kind of sad for me since I’m used to and fond of them. I don’t have a solid internet connection either to catch the service from Paducah. The Sunday services are good though, I’ve been learning quite a bit. We haven’t really met anyone yet. I’m trying to get over my shyness of meeting new people and PJ’s not too fond of meeting new people either. But, we need to get over it. It seems a lot easier when your parents introduce you to people (like it was when my family started going to Grace Church International. You automatically form friendships with the people they hang out with, especially as you get older.) Hopefully we will meet people over these next few weeks. The church has a lot of fellowship opportunities and I’m hoping that PJ is as eager to try to make friends as I am. I’ll keep you updated.
I did go out of my comfort zone this past Tuesday. There was a Ladies Night with ladies from the church and I figured I would try to get connected with some. It didn’t exactly work because it was more of a Pampered Chef party except with different product and for the most part, no one talked to anyone else. I was rubbing my belly right before we began eating and a lady came up to me and asked me if I was feeling okay. Lol! I told her that I was pregnant and we talked a little bit about that. The conversation then ended and that was about the extent of conversation I had the rest of the evening. It was a bit saddening but I’m not giving up. I literally need to meet new people with the same kinds of viewpoints as me or I will burst. So, with that in mind, I’m willing to put myself through more awkward moments to find one that isn’t so awkward.
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Onto a different subject matter. I’ve been sort of a recluse lately (to the room that is ours) and I’ve used my time to do a variety of different things. Some of which include watching informational movies or movies that are “need to see. I was watching this one last night called “The Miracle of Life,” and they got a lot of inside footage of the female and male reproductive systems. When I mean inside footage, I mean the entire enchilada! I got to see the DETAILED details of an actual ovary, egg, testicle, sperm cell and the entire (and laborious) journey a sperm cell takes to get to the egg. All the detailedness made me think I was looking at a bunch of under the sea life. If I was a sperm cell, I don’t know if I’d have the energy to go through all of that to fertilize an egg the size of a grain of sand. But, then again, God created sperm to have a certain task and they don’t have a mind of their own (like I do). After watching that movie, all I can say is “Wow!” I already knew God was awesome, but seeing that video makes me know he is even more awesome. There were so many things that I was trying to wrap my head around especially seeing the process with the great amount of detail that it had. But, to think that God created us knowing precisely the function our many cells accomplish is beyond my comprehension!! And, us humans do a lot more than reproduce!! It’s mind boggling and amazing at the same time!!
Today, as I was laundering our clothes and cleaning up the room, I was also watching “Bully,” a documentary of children who have been bullied at school or on the school bus just because they look or act different or have a different sexual orientation. (I’m not for homosexuality, but picking on someone for a choice they made is wrong no matter what. They are humans too!) I would recommend this movie to anyone, especially school aged children.
My overall response to this movie is that bullying is mostly a result of bad parenting. (Just my opinion though I do feel that children inwardly know the difference between right and wrong and are therefore wrong too.) But, if parents actually did their job as parents, the children wouldn’t think it’s ok to pick on someone because they are different in some way. Being a parent is a big responsibility and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Some parents don’t need children.
Upon watching this movie, I’ve done a lot of thinking about how and what to teach Paisley. I want her to know that just because someone is different doesn’t mean that they aren’t important. God created us equal and we shouldn’t be using the differences God gave us as a focal point to torment someone. I’ve been bullied before and it’s not fun. It wasn’t necessarily to the point of harming myself but it doesn’t feel good regardless. I’ve been made fun of for being fat, someone actually sat on me and put their hands around my neck in the back of the bus, and a lot of the “more fortunate” kids in high school would break and steal my things just because they thought they had the right to. It never got horrible but it shouldn’t have happened at all.
I guess I will sail this ship. I’m hoping to submit my next post sooner than it took me to post this one. (With the lack of internet, it’s hard to update my blog as much as I’d like too.) Everyone, be blessed and have a fantastic weekend.
Momma Pate
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