Day 37: Ouch!

That one exclamation explains it all! Ouch! Today hurt! From the moment I started rolling in the bed prior to getting up, I could feel what yesterday had done to my body. My muscles were (and still are) very sore and tight; it feels as if every muscle surrounding my spine is screaming at me! But, even though I had a perfectly pathetic excuse not to work out today, I pushed through and pushed “play.”  

Before I talk about today’s butt kicker, I must make a correction from yesterday’s post. I was incorrect when I said that the last move of the warm-up was ski jumps. It’s actually call S-S Hops (meaning Side to Side). These are a no-joke move and even if you’re only lifting yourself a few inches off the floor (like me) you can still feel the BURN!! But, anyway…

Today was Max Interval Plyo, and it was INSANE!! The warm-up alone had my face covered in droplets of sweat! And, at that point, I honestly didn’t know if I was going to be able to keep up. But, like I said, I pushed through it.

The most memorable moves were the Squat Push-Ups, Wide In and Outs, and Globe Twists. I particularly enjoyed all three of these moves even though they make me get Fire-Thighs!! (New word meaning your thighs BURN!!)

For Squat Push-Ups, you get in a basic squat and hold your hands up to the level of your shoulders. Then, you fall on your palms and push up with enough force to put you back in your standing squat position. (You never leave the squat position during this move.)

The next Fire-Thigh move is Wide In and Outs. These are like the basic In and Outs that I’ve mentioned before but with wide feet instead of them being knee to knee.  Hands are in plank position, feet are set wide apart about feet behind you and then you jump in and out. Ta-Da! Not much to this one, but it burns!!

Globe Twists are much like the Globe Jumps that we had to do as part of the first month on Insanity. With Globe Twists, you start out kind of squatted down with your left hand touching the floor past your left foot, your right hand is near your left foot. Then, you jump up in the air as your hands come up and land in the opposite position. (right hand now past your right foot and left hand near your right foot.) You can pretty much guarantee that if squats and jumps are in the same move, they will hurt…because they do!!

These last two days of Max Insanity have really been INSANE!! I’m ready for the muscle soreness to go away and for my body to burn the fat that needs to be burned!! I’m really going to have to “dig deeper” as Shaun T tells us to do because this is intense!! I’m excited for the results though!! Until next time.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

P.S...I'm very tired and sore and forgive any typos because at this moment, I'm too lazy to click the spelling/grammar check button...I need to go take a seat!!

Day 36: Day 1 Of Insanity and The Three S’s that I’ve Experienced

Before I get to what the title of this lovely post is about, let me first share with you the results of the scale this morning. It read 173.6. Only one pound more than what it said last week but I’m not stressing it at all. I drank about 16 ounces of water before going to bed (that’s one pound right there) so, I attribute that to the gain. Also, I was reading an article on beachbody.com about the number on the scale. This article was very informative and said that a five pound gain in say, a day or two, (for instance) on the scale isn’t fat, but most likely water. Muscles retain water and it will cause a higher number on the scale until they release it. Also, undigested food and liquids stay in your system until they are passed as well. (Duh!)  And, of course, muscle weighs more than fat. So, you could be gaining muscle and losing fat but you won’t necessarily know it if you rely on the scale. The best way to track your progress is by measuring various parts of your body as well as paying attention to how your clothes are fitting. For me personally, I haven’t been losing much weight since starting Insanity, but I’ve had to get a smaller work shirt because the other one was engulfing me. In fact, the shirt that I am wearing now (which I just got not even 2 weeks ago) is starting to get a little too big as well.) By the way, when I started working here, my shirt size was 22! Now, I am currently wearing a size 14, but will have to switch in about a week or less. So, it is important not to be a slave to the scale.

Onto the part about the title. Yes, Insanity Day 36 seemed a lot like Day 1. I was very unsure about what to expect and kind of nervous about it too. I started the day off with the Fit Test and saw some good improvements with my scores since Day 15. Then, I had to do the first “Max” workout, which was about one hour in length! (I was already partially out of breath by the end of the Fit Test, but still ready to work and push through it.) We started with three sets of warming up (to get my already warmed up muscles even warmer, I guess). Jogging, Jumping Jacks making our arms go straight up above our head instead of the traditional ones, 1-2-3’s, high knees with arms like we are flying, hit the floor, and ski jumps (these suck!). Ski jumps arm where you put your hand down on the floor like you are doing a push up but instead, you kick your legs as high as they will go in the air and land on the opposite side from where you started. Needless to say, I couldn’t go very high and by this move, I was so out of breath, I didn’t even want to. But, I tried. :D

Next came the stretch. (Thank God!) It didn’t last as long as the others do, but it gave my heart some time to calm down a bit. After stretching my now VERY VERY warm muscles, we did three different circuits that contained three sets of the same thing. The moves that I remember the most were the Cross Jacks, Upper and Lower Hooks and Side Suicides (which I couldn’t figure out how to do.)

Cross Jacks are as you guessed it, a different way of doing jumping jacks! (Yay!) As you jump out, one arm crosses above your head while the other crosses in front in your abs, or flabs, if you are like me. Lol. As you jump in, your arms switch positions and your feet cross. It’s actually a pretty cool exercise move and I actually just realized that I had been doing it wrong all along (until today.) My feet stayed in the regular jumping jack position as my arms crossed. It’s a lot better when y our feet cross though, because you feel it more. Yeah!

Upper and Lower Hooks, which I like a lot, are pretty much self-explanatory, but I’ll describe them anyway. Basically, you stand up with knees slightly bent and then do four hooks (punches in front of the chest) and then you squat down further and do four more hooks. Then, you switch sides. I like this move because it works my wings, I mean arms. :D

Side Suicides, which I could not do because of confusion, are like regular suicides except you put your palms flat on the ground beside your feet and then jump to the side. You jump in and then up and then down you go again. I couldn’t do this because my body would not do it. And, it’s a little confusing at first. I’m sure if I keep trying I’ll be able to do it eventually.

Now to the 3 S’s. Since January, I’ve noticed a few things that happen to me while working out. One is SNOT. For some unexplainable reason, my nose wants to run when I start working out. Maybe it’s because things are “melting” and it just likes to slide on out. (That’s why I always have some tissue nearby.) The second “S” is SPIT. Only during this last past week have I noticed an increase in saliva. I can’t even think of why this would be. When I go for a gulp of water, it’s all warm and gross in my mouth and very unappealing. I drink it down sometimes but sometimes I spit it out in a different tissue, which I also have nearby. That last “S” is SWEAT. This makes a lot of sense, obviously, but I only noticed this in excess amounts when I started Insanity. P90X never made me sweat very much (unless it was Plyometrics Day and then I noticed a little more sweat than usual.) I’d only ever get a light glaze from the majority of P90X. With Insanity, you can actually see droplets forming above my lip, by my hairline and even sliding down my face. (It’s quite a sight if you ask me!! I love it though!)

So, there you have it. The Three S’s. They may not be so “clean” but hey, it’s all a part of working out I guess. Plus, that doesn’t even matter once I’ve had my shower. :D Until next time.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 35: Missin’ Shaun T, H2O, and Sick Stories!!

I have officially completed 5 entire weeks of Insanity! And, it seems like every Sunday, I get the Shaun T Blues. MEANING: I want there to be an Insanity workout on Sunday, the “rest” day. One of the main reasons I want to work out on Sunday is because it’s the day before my Weigh Days and I don’t want a day of inactivity to affect the outcome on the scale. Another reason is because I feel kinda lazy on my rest days. I feel like I should be doing more.

The only reason why I am not doing a work out on Sunday though, is because I do want my muscles to rest. I need a day of muscle rejuvenation in order to successfully complete the week that lies ahead. (I’ve heard that it is important to give your muscles a day off, so it would be silly of me to try to work them too hard.) I guess I don’t miss Shaun T that much.

As said above, Sundays are my lazy days. That goes for more than just exercise as well. These last few weeks, I’ve not been taking in as much water as I want to. (Only on Sundays though.) My daily goal is to drink at least 64 ounces of water per day. (That is the average recommended intake.) Monday through Friday, I have no problem. I drink 32 ounces while working out and the latter part of the day I drink another 32 ounces. Since PJ and I wake up later on Sundays, I’ve only been taking in 32 ounces during my night shifts at work. So, in an effort to correct this problem, I got up today and headed straight for my water cup (complete with a straw!). I sipped on it a little bit and then got ready for work. Before I went to work, I sat in our new pappasan chair and drank the rest of it while texting a friend. (With my handy dandy straw, I don’t have to “come up” for air like with a traditional water bottle. Within minutes, I had my first 32 ounces for the day down and ready for the second.) I think this is how I will do it from now on.

So, who’s ready for “Max” Insanity!? This girl!! I previewed a little bit of it the other night while transferring the files to PJ’s computer and I’m kinda scared, but READY! Hopefully, I don’t go away from it tomorrow wanting to throw up (because that feeling while being all hot and sweaty is one of the worst feelings!!) Have you ever worked out so hard that you just wanted to throw up…or actually did?! I’ve only wanted to throw up twice since starting P90X. I think the first time was the first Plyometrics workout and the second was just the other day with Core Cardio and Balance. The second time may have been because I started in a very cold environment, so much so that I was actually shivering before the workout. And, then I got all sweaty and kinda sick feeling but nothing ever came of it. (Thankfully.)

Well, I suppose that’s all for today. Tomorrow is Weigh Day and Progress Check #2, plus a Max Insanity Workout. (I can’t say that I’m excited about doing both the Fit Test AND a “Max” workout, but I will survive!!) Until Tomorrow!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 34: Last Day of “Recovery Week”

Today was the official last day of my “Recovery Week.” I still count it as a workout though because I sweat a lot more than any of the other workouts I’ve done thus far. I’m sad to see it go, but very excited for the next month. And, as said earlier, each workout that I have until I finish out the 60 days has the word “max,” in front of it. My knees might be shaking internally (like one of those silly cartoon characters biting their nails and what not) but I think this past month has prepared me for another butt whooping.

Just the other day I researched Insanity results for other people and it seems like I am not the only one who has had less than the best results for the past month. But, there is hope! I read about a bunch of different people only losing a few pounds during the first month and then GAINING during the recovery week. Once they started the second part of Insanity, they were able to see more results in their weight. (This is one reason why I am VERY excited about the second part.) I’m hoping to lose enough weight to be in the 150’s. So, that’s another 12-13 pounds to go. I know I can do it. (And, with our summer son gone, it should be a lot easier because he won’t be tempting us with chips, cheese and salsa.)

If I remember correctly, I said something about looking for a protein supplement to take after my workouts. (I wanted this because I don’t get enough protein throughout the day and this will help me build muscle a lot easier.) Well, thanks to a couple of friends, we were able to purchase a 5-pound bag of MuscleTech Chocolate Protein Shake from our local Sams Club for roughly $35. I’ve had two shakes so far with 8 ounces of skim milk (200 calories) and it’s not SO bad. In order for me to get it all down though, I have to drink it all in one setting. (Although it doesn’t taste BAD, it doesn’t appeal to my senses as much as a real chocolate shake would. Maybe it’s just the thought of it that makes me kinda squirmy. Still, I sit in our new pappasan chair with my red cup full of protein shake in hand, complete with a red straw, and just “down” it. I, for some reason, cannot get past the froth though. I just cannot drink it!) After I finish the protein shake, I gag, (Lol, for real though) and then go on about my day.) The good thing about this protein shake is that it really doesn’t taste that bad (not as bad as a slim fast chocolate shake does..blech!) and it leaves you feeling full.

Also, the other day, I had said something about going to the library and renting a shadow boxing workout DVD. Well, to my dismay, they didn’t have any such videos and I settled for a 20-minute Jillian Michaels DVD. I’m thinking about doing this stuff at night before going to bed, but I’m still not sure. I might just look up shadow boxing on Youtube or something and go from there.

Anyway, I think that’s about it for today. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope to hear from some of my readers about how your weight loss endeavors have been going. Until next time.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 31: Sore Shoulders but a Heck of a Good Time

Today was the third day of Core Cardio and Balance. And, even though I never really want to start the video (because I know those arm circles are coming) I have kept pushing “play.” It’s really not that bad though. Once I get started, it’s fun! There is quite a bit of variety in this video and every day I have noticed my body making subtle improvements.

The most obvious improvement that I noticed today was that I could get through 95% of the moves. (When I did this the first day, I would pause several times and even skip parts of the sections in order to catch my breath and survive the thing.) Today, I was able to work past the discomfort so much easier and it was more enjoyable for me.

While going through Recovery Week, I have found my all time favorite move. This move has caused my shoulders to become sore over these past three days, but it is still my favorite move. I can’t remember the name of it but it’s pretty easy to describe. Basically, you squat down and Jab eight times, then you jump 180 degrees and Jab another eight times. You do this repeatedly for one minute!

One of the reasons why I like this move is because it works my shoulders and arms, two of my problem areas. Whenever we get to this move during the video, I feel so accomplished before I even start because I know that even though it hurts, it’s doing a lot for me. When I jab, I actually see muscle and I’ve very excited to “cut the fat” off of my arms so that other people can see the muscle too (without have to look real hard. Lol.)

Another reason I like this move is because it shows how far I’ve come from Day 1 of P90X. I couldn’t do a 180 degree jump at all. I had to step through. The fact that I can actually do the move surprises and excites me! I can now “leap like a cat,” as Tony Horton says.

For some reason, I’ve been thinking about the above mentioned move a lot today. I really enjoy arm exercises that incorporate a lot of power. (unlike the arm circles…blah!) As I was getting ready for work tonight, I had an idea. *Lightbulb!* “I wonder if the library has any videos about shadow boxing?” (I learned about shadow boxing from The Biggest Loser.) So, the next time I go to the library, I’m going to search for shadow boxing workout videos so I can add that to my Insanity. :D

Other than my shoulders being really sore, these past few days have been pretty great. The arm circles are still intense, but it’s all a part of becoming a better me.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 30: Progress Pictures and A Changing Mind??

Today was Day 30 of Insanity!! This means that I am “officially” half-way through!! I am very excited to have reached this point but a little confounded by the results. In 30 days, I have only lost about 6 pounds. (Which isn’t bad, but it’s not necessarily what I wanted to happen. I think I’d have been happier with a 10 pound loss.) Either way, a loss is a loss and I have and will not give up on my ultimate goal. Every step toward my goal is progress. I’m thinking that I will see a bigger loss within the next 30 days. (Every workout for the next 30 days has the word “max” in front of it. So, I’m assuming that it’s a level up from what I had been doing.)

Today was also progress pictures day. My husband took several pictures of me last night in my sports bra and shorts that I always wear while working out. (The shorts hide half of my upper thigh and it’s hard to see where the progress actually is.) So, today, I asked PJ to retake the pictures while I was wearing my bathing suit. In these photos, you can see a lot of progress from the very first pictures I’ve taken. (Sometimes, when I get discouraged, I look at the “before P90X” pictures to encourage me.) The only bad thing about the progress pictures taken today is that there isn’t much of a difference from the pictures taken on day 1. (That is kind of disappointing, but I didn’t really expect 6 pounds to make a whole lot of difference.)

Either way, like I said, I am still losing and still motivated to keep going. This kind of thing is not a sprint, so I shouldn’t expect it to be something that happens quickly. The weight didn’t just appear so it definitely won’t just disappear. While I’ve made much progress, I still have a long way to go.

Speaking of which, my journey may become an even longer one. Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about what I actually want my body to be like. My goal since starting this journey has been to get down to 130 pounds (which means that I would have to lose 106 pounds from where I started). Lately however, I’ve been examining my body and my thoughts these past weeks have been consistent in that I want visible muscle. I want my arms and legs to be muscular and I want abs. Since I am not sure that the next 42 pounds that I have to lose will get me to this state, my plan is to work until I do. (Unless of course, my plans change again.)

I’ve told only a few people of my plans for a rock solid body and most of them have looked at me with a shocked expression and then question me as to why I think I need to look like that. It’s not that I think I need to look like that, but the fact that I want to. I want to be strong, I want to be thin, and I want to be healthy and in peak condition. I want to start a “new” life especially since children are a plan for my husband and me in the future. I want to be healthy for them and I want to be able to teach them how to be healthy as well. Moreover, I want them to have a personal example. And, since moms have a very big part to play in their children’s’ lives, I want them to see that it is important to be healthy.

I hope that my posts as of late have encouraged someone out there. Losing weight is tough and it seems even tougher on those bad weeks. The important thing is to keep going at it. It’s a process that does pay off and the reward is so worth it!!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 29: A New Workout and A New Number!!

Today was the beginning of the “Recovery Week.” And, when you think of recovery, your mind probably goes to something serene and calming, something involving stretching and possibly even yoga. Well, as soon as I found out that I actually had a recovery week in between the two four-week sections of Insanity, I was dreading it! In my mind, recovery means taking it easy in order for your body to heal or “get used to” something, much like coming out of a surgery. I figured this week would be one of those easy-peezy workouts and I wasn’t likely to lose much, if any, weight.

Boy, was I wrong! In all of the workouts I do in Insanity, I sweat a lot! Today’s workout was even sweatier!! You start out “Jumping Rope,” which is actually a good ab workout. Then, it goes to Heismans and Jump Squats and before you know it, your muscles are burning and you have already built up a nice glaze on your face. The first four minutes is a combination of different moves that literally had me on the floor begging Shaun T to slow down or stop. (Lol!) the second section is the stretch, the third, more combinations of moves that I’ve already seen the last four weeks. This workout is everything from Squats to Jumping Jacks, from Push-Ups to Jabs, from High Knees to Mummy Kicks and the worst of anything I’ve ever done: ARM CIRCLES!! (I’ve very much disliked these since P90X!) Only, Shaun T takes them a step farther!

These aren’t just ordinary arm circles like the ones that Tony Horton made us do in P90X. By the end of the program, I was actually able to do arm circles for a considerable amount of time without feeling all “noodly.” Shaun T makes us Plie while doing arm circles! And, that’s not it! We get in Plie position and flap our wings…I mean, arms, like birds for 30 seconds. (Ouch!) Then, he tells us to keep our arms straight and move them in front of our face for another 30 seconds. (Kind of like we are straight-armed clapping.) The next 30 seconds consists of putting our arms straight up and then taking them out like we are flying over and over. And, the last minute is arm circles, 30 seconds backward and 30 seconds frontward. (By this time, your arms are limp noodles and you are literally telling Shaun T to stop!!)

Today was a great day though. I am so happy to find out that Recovery Week is actually going to be a challenge!! I want to lose weight this week and if possible, I want to be able to see a “16” in front of my weight.

By the way!! Today was Weigh Day!! I was happy to get out of bed this morning because I knew that I’d done well this last past week. I’d done what I said I was going to do! (I said “no” to bad food temptations!) I went into the bathroom, did my business and then stepped on the scale. DRUM ROLL PLEASE: 172.6!!! I have never seen this number before!!! I was so excited that I had to update my Facebook status as soon as I saw it!! I am 2.7 pounds away from being in the 160’s and I could not be happier!! I’m hoping that with this intense “Recovery Week,” I’ll be able to get my weight down enough to see that.

(From last week, this is a 4.4 pound loss. If you remember, last week was a bad week and I saw 177 again. I am very thankful that a renewed mind and a serious attitude about my food intake allowed me to see the 172.)

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 28: Power in the Tongue!!

Lately, I’ve been inwardly wondering why I’ve been staying at about the same weight. It’s more of a range between 174-177 and it’s been getting me frustrated! I’ve even noticed myself saying that “I’m not losing any weight.” (**bonk to the forehead**) No wonder I haven’t been losing much weight lately!! I let it come out of my mouth. I honestly believed it and that’s what happened. There is power in the tongue and it’s extremely evident in my case.

I’ve also been wondering what needs to happen in order for me to continue to lose weight. I’m tired of seeing the 170’s and I’m ready to master the 160’s. For quite some time now, I’ve been asking myself what I need to do in order to keep making the numbers go down like they did when I was doing P90X.

Yesterday, at church, my pastor did his message on the tongue and how powerful it is. While he was preaching, I was thinking to myself, “I’ve heard this already and I’ve even taught others about it. What else could I learn today?” Well, folks, I learned a LOT!! I think it hit me the way that it did because I was looking for an answer!! This was my answer!! I hadn’t been speaking anything except negative things about my weight. I’d been talking about how I wasn’t losing any weight and that, in turn, made me lose very little or no weight! It’s a simple equation and for some reason I just didn’t “get” it until yesterday!

Here are a few scriptures about how powerful the tongue is:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. -Proverbs 18:21

We all make many mistakes, and if any one makes no mistakes in what he says he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body also. If we put bits into the mouths of horses that they may obey us, we guide their whole bodies. Look at the ships also; though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So the tongue is a little member and boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! -James 3:2-5

The way I’ve been speaking about my body is making my body go in that direction. I may be exercising and eating right but I’ve been speaking destruction into my own life and that’s what I’ve gotten. (Maybe not destruction, per se, but negative things.) It’s just the same with everything else. If you say that you are always sick, what should you expect: sickness. If you say that you are going to have a bad day, what do you think you will get: a bad day. Even though our tongue is just a tiny member of our whole body, James says that it’s like a rudder to the ship. Think about the Titantic! That was a HUGE ship! Yet, it was steered by the rudders, which are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than the ship itself!  Think about it, it makes sense and since it says so it the Bible, it would be wrong of me not to believe it.

So, as a way to make my body get back on the track that it needs to be on, I have decided that I am going to make some cards with positive things to say about myself and my entire weight loss journey. I’m going to write them out and put them on my fridge so that every time I go into the kitchen I can say what the card says. I’m going to put encouraging words and positive words in my bathroom above the scale, by my bed, and practically anywhere I can think of that I will see. I am going to SEE and SAY! And, as I say, my body will follow! I’m excited!

Who wants to join me?!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 27: A Look into the Outcast’s Life

Ok, so the title is kind of…eh…disturbing. (It gets better, I promise!!) No one wants to be called an outcast and no one wants to think that someone they love feels like one. Well, this is actually what I’ve felt like for the several years up until I decided to get off my bottom and do something about it: an outcast.

Mind you, the “outcast” mentality is not something that happens because of being overweight. It is a choice, a bad choice. It’s kinda like that black goo stuff that gets on Spiderman in the third movie. It overtakes you and makes  you…well…different. I chose to feel like an outcast because of my weight and that is what I became. However, the outcast mentality did not come upon me just out of the clear blue sky; it was a gradual thing that started when I was little.

Being called “fat,” “fatty” and all other kinds of names under the sun while you are little doesn’t do much for your self-esteem. I started out as a relatively healthy child who played outside a lot and didn’t look big at all. The last I remember being thin (because of a yearbook photo that I have) was 3^rd grade. I must’ve started to gain weight in the 4^th grade because I remember being VERY chunky in my yearbook photo. I’m not even sure why I gained so much weight! It’s not like my mom made unhealthy food or that she bought us take-out a lot. Becoming fat was also just a choice that I made, even though unintentionally.

When I started to balloon out, that’s when I started to feel like the outcast of the family. My very thin sister would constantly call me names like “fatso” and “fatty.” (BTW, I hold none of this against her. She’s an amazing sister and I would not trade for anyone in the world. Young kids do stupid things and name calling is part of it…unfortunately…) I always felt like I never measured up to the rest of my family. They were either thin, popular, both or in my mind, their problems never seemed as bad as being fat. My mom was thin, my aunt was thin, my cousins were thin, it seemed like everyone was thin except me and that made me feel a lot like the “runt” of the litter: the mistake, really.

We lived in Missouri when I started getting fat and we also lived near my cousins, whom we visited often. Whenever they would visit or we would visit them, it seemed like they would all gravitate toward my sister because she was cooler or more fun or whatever the case. This left me feeling very hurt and I blamed it on the fact that I was fat. I didn’t feel like a part of the family. In fact, I tried to hang around with the adults mostly because I knew they usually saw past how much space you’d take up. I was insecure around my cousins and my sister and even though I did sometimes hang out with them, I always felt like the odd ball, the ugly duckling, misplaced no matter what I did.

When I got into high school, I always felt out of place as well. I was lucky to make the friends that I did but I was insecure around them too. I was constantly trying to find ways to “prove” to other people that I was worth something. I excelled in all my classes and it made me feel special when people would come to me for help or for answers (that I didn’t give them because cheating is wrong.) I’d always try to make people see how smart I was so that they wouldn’t see how fat I was.

French class was the absolute worst! About 95% of my French class for all four years was populated with thin, popular or rich people. Four percent consisted of the bigger, popular, rich people so they were automatically “in.” I counted myself as the 1% that wasn’t rich, was fat and was quiet (because I was fat.) I didn’t like the attention on me because that would give people a reason to stare. I tried to keep to myself and just fill out my workbook. I really only talked when the teacher would ask me a question or whenever I was trying to deter Nick Lahr from cheating. (He sat in front of me my first year and would daily look back and try to get the answers from my workbook.) For almost all four years, I sat toward the back, rarely talking and just working in my workbook, alone and feeling like an outcast. It really sucked because I wanted to be seen as special and I never felt worthy enough.

College life was a little bit of a different story with the same result. This time, I was surrounded by people that were bigger than me by several pounds. This made me feel better. (This sounds absolutely horrible.) I knew that I would no longer be the focus because there were bigger targets to focus on. I still felt like an outcast inwardly even though I was getting along on the outside. I put on a “front” but even that did fool people.  

A bad self-image can get you into trouble too. In college, I reconnected with a guy I met at church camp and I thought he was the “cat’s meow.” He always told me how pretty I was, how smart, etc, etc. (A load of bull if you ask me.) I fell into this trap and spent the next few months trying to recover with secular counseling and advice from friends. Ultimately, the only thing that got me out of this depression (yes, it was diagnosed by a professional as “depression”) was going to church and spending my time with people that would speak truth into me. (One day after I decided to make a stand for myself and my happiness is when I met PJ, my husband.)

So, now you know a brief history of how I felt because of being fat. It led me to think that I was worthless and therefore, causing me to make horrible decisions. Even after I got out of the depression stuff, I still struggled with the thought that I was an outcast. I didn’t go anywhere in public without a hoodie or a covering of some kind. I wanted to cover myself so people wouldn’t be drawn to how big I was. I felt like I couldn’t do anything or be with anyone without them thinking about how fat I was.

Enough about that junk. Since I started losing weight and treating my body like the temple that it is, I’ve felt more confident in myself about who I am. (NOTE: We are not supposed to get our confidence solely based on our appearance but because of the fact that we have a God who loves us for who we are. He doesn’t make us feel like outcasts because we are a bit heavy. He loves us no matter what size we are, how we talk, what we do for a living, etc. Feeling good about yourself is something that can happen as a result of working out and losing weight but it should not be the only way you find satisfaction with who you are.) I feel better because I have lost weight and because I look better, but I never thought that God didn’t love me because I was fat. Do not ever think that!!

In closing, I wasted a lot of years because I thought everyone was pointing their finger at me. This is not how life is supposed to be lived. If you feel this way, change your mentality because you aren’t worthless! You are loved and adored by God the Creator and He does not make trash. If you want to do something to change yourself, do it. Stop making excuses (like I did for all those years) and just decide to do something! It will only be for your benefit and you will feel amazing!! (Even if you don’t lose weight at a rapid pace like me, exercising makes you feel better about yourself. A lot better than sitting on the couch does.) Make it an important task to take care of yourself. You are worth it!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 24: Almost Half-Way Through

It’s Day 24 of this whole Insanity thing and I am almost half-way through!! I’m also almost half-way through with my entire weight loss journey (unless my goals change.) To start out my journey through Insanity, I had PJ take pictures of me from just about every angle: front, back, both sides, arms out like I was flying, etc. I plan to do this again once Day 30 rolls around. I’m excited but I’m not exactly sure I will see any major improvements. However, seeing really isn’t believing because I know my body is getting better despite the way it looks.

Then again, that’s kind of how I felt the entire way through P90X. I kept pushing myself to workout even though I didn’t see any changes as I was doing it. I only started “seeing” changes as my clothes were getting loose and as people were coming up to me and asking me if I was “losing weight.” So, even though I’m about 90% sure there will not be much of a difference, I feel better about me and that’s really all that matters!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

P.S. Even though on Monday the scale said 177, that is the lowest weight I have seen myself at in a LOOOOONG time. I remember being in 6^th or 7^th grade and weighing 150!! I weighed more than my mom and I always remember feeling so shameful because daughters are not supposed to weigh more than their moms. So, I am so excited to keep seeing my number go further down!!

Day 23: Shaun T, You Lied to Me!!

Today was the sweat fest exercise known as Cardio Power and Resistance. I say sweat fest because this is definitely the sweatiest session I have yet to see with the Insanity workouts. I love it though! It’s very fulfilling to know that you are working out so hard and so much that you are drenched! It’s also kinda gross and sticky, but hey, that washes off.

So, I’ve gotten over the bummed feeling of the Weigh Day on Monday and I’ve decided that I will just weigh myself ever few days. This will help me out more than looking at Simon once every week because I will see which way the scale is going as opposed to just hoping and praying that it will be less than the previous number I saw. If I have a bad day also, I can look at the scale the next day and determine what changes I need to make in order to get a better result come the next Weigh Day. I think this will work a lot better and I won’t feel so defeated next week.

Oh yeah, about the title to Day 23. In Cardio Power and Resistance near the end of the video, Shaun T always says “this is the last one.” So, you get real amped up and do the last set…only to be surprised by “get up, you have one more to go.” (He says “get up” because people are literally on the floor at this point.) They get up and both you and they do squats and push ups until it’s time for the cool down. I always believe Shaun T whenever he says “this is the last one.” Lol!

For those of you who have recently started a weight loss journey, how are you doing? I’d love to hear some feedback and what works best and not so best for you when it comes to working out and eating better.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 22: Disappointment…

Today was Weigh Day and I didn’t want to get out of bed to “jump” on that scale. I “manned up” and did it though and was very disappointed to see that I gained 2.4 pounds!! The scale this morning said 177.0. I literally felt my face start to get hot as I saw though numbers flash on the screen. (My face only feels hot when I am embarrassed.) Yes, I was embarrassed. I was mortified and I really didn’t want to do my workout this morning because I felt like crap. Like my work had not done anything for me the last week and like I was just spinning my wheels. I was very disappointed in myself. VERY!!

I blame it on the food though. I ate poorly near the end of the week (due to a weak will and two boys, who shall not be named, that tempted me into eating such foods.) The food was tasty, but looking back, it was a big mistake to eat it. I told myself that this week needs to be a better week; I need to deny the flesh at all costs and eat only my calorie intake for the day. I don’t need another week like the one I just got!! I was also very tempted to throw away the three bags of El Chico tortilla chips that one of those boys (mentioned above) acquired from his place of employment. I don’t need chips!!

Even though I didn’t want to workout today, I still did. I’m not about to quit on something that I’ve worked so hard for. So, I had a bad week, but that doesn’t mean that I should just stop altogether. I turned on my computer, got my 32 ounces of water, pushed the play button, and did Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs. And, I’m very thankful that I did. I felt much better and am ready to make this week a losing week!! I’m going to say “no” to the bad foods and I am going to get myself away from the situation if I am tempted to eat something that I don’t need to eat. I don’t mean to be rude, but if I have to physically remove myself from the situation, I am going to have to do that. I need to be successful and I’m bound and determined to do whatever it takes.

This is my rant about food:

What is it about food that is so ensnaring? Why do we use food as a method to soothe our emotions or “make everything right in the world?” Why do we have so much junk in this world? We know it doesn’t help us, yet we eat it anyway. It really all comes down to money and the love of money, really (and the fact that it tastes good.) Why do people make junk food: to make money. Kids love junk food, adults sneak-eat it after the kids go to bed and it seems like our world just revolves around food. And, while I’m trying to rid myself of the addiction to food, it seems to always get in my face. I hate that it’s like that, but then again, I have to learn how to be more powerful over my body and I have to win over the temptations that I face. I kinda wish that we didn’t need food to survive. If we didn’t need it so much, I’d probably try to avoid it.

I was kinda hesistant, once again, to post my weight (and the fact that I had gained weight) on the internet for the whole world to see. But, I know I need to because someone who reads it might be in the same predicament as I was when I saw that number: disappointed and questioning the process. Well, the process works, it’s really all about the mental strength when faced with a temptation. And, last week, I didn’t do so well. My only piece of advice is don’t give up, man up! Giving up will not do anything for you except make you gain more weight. If you “man up” to the fact that you just have to work harder and eat better, this will get you a lot farther. So, don’t give up, man up!!

For this next week, I’m gonna “man up” and really take charge. If you offer me something bad to eat, I’ll throw it in your face. Lol. Not really, but I will say “no!!”

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 21: Week 3 Down!! I’m Noticing Some Changes!!

Week 3 is complete and Weigh Day #3 is tomorrow! And, just in case you are wondering, I’ve been purposefully skimpy with my posts as of late because I’ve been trying to think of something to write about other than the fact that working out and losing weight is mental. I’m trying to search out different angles so that my readers (however many there are) don’t get bored.

I guess today seems like a good time to tell you that even though I’ve only been doing insanity for three weeks, I am seeing vast improvements since Day 1. I was doing Cardio Power and Resistance on Friday and in that video, we have to do a move called the Power Jump. This is where you squat down with your hands out over your knees and jump up so and hit/touch your knees as they come up too. You land in the same squat position as you started with and continue doing that until you are plum wore out or until the 30 seconds is over with. You do these as fast as you can.

The first week that I did these, my knees barely went up and I couldn’t do more than a few without feeling like I was going to keel over. Friday, however, I noticed that I could jump higher, land smoother and do more without feeling so worn out. I probably did three times as many as the first day!!

If you remember from two week ago, the first time I did V Push Ups (which was also in Cardio Power and Resistance) I wanted to cry because they hurt so much (and I was huffing and puffing from the Power Jumps)! Friday, I was doing the V Push Ups and again I wanted to cry!! Not because it hurt but because I could do them easier, faster, and I didn’t give up before the allotted time!

Another improvement that I noticed was that during the Suicides. (A move in which you quickly run side to side and touching the floor as you come down. This occurs within about a seven-foot range.) The first time we had to do those, I was slow. When I did it yesterday during Plyometric Cardio Circuit, I noticed that I was FASTER by a lot!! It even amazed me how fast I was moving!!

When it comes to In and Outs, I’ve also improved. In and Outs are when you put yourself in the plank position (like you are going to do push-ups) and hop your feet in between your arms and then out again to plank. While I can’t do a plank perfectly (my back always seems to arch!) I have been improving on the modified version of the In and Outs. I have more endurance and I can last the whole 30 seconds instead of wimping out after only 15 or so. This move also makes me sweat a ton. I think that’s why I’ve come to like it so much!!

I’m excited to see what happens over the next few weeks. I’m also excited to take pictures on Day 30 to see if anything has changed physically since Day 1. I’m also semi-excited to weigh in tomorrow…just because I haven’t touched that scale since last Monday.

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 17: Avoiding An Injury

Today was Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs again. I checked my Insanity schedule last night about what workout I was supposed to do this morning and, needless to say, I wasn’t that excited about doing it. So, I did stay in bed a lot longer than I wanted or needed to but still managed to drag myself out and do that insane workout!! (I have a really bad habit of not getting out of bed when I actually want to. So, I set my alarm for 8, 8:15, 8:30, 8:45 and 9 because I actually wanted to get up at 9. Only, I accidentally forgot to set the 9 alarm and ended up sleeping for 2 hours more. L I think once I get an earlier job or a baby, I’ll be waking up a lot earlier.)  

We stared with the warm-up (of course) and I got through the first set with no problem. (The warm-up is divided into 30 second intervals of jogging, jumping jacks, heisman’s, 1-2-3’s, butt kicks, high knees and mummy kicks. So, 3.5 minutes 3 times for the warm-up.) On the second set of jumping jacks I noticed that whenever my hands went up and my feet when out, there was a sharp pain in my left foot. I did a few more jumping jacks but then decided to take mini water break until the heisman’s began so that I wouldn’t hurt my foot even worse. I did the rest of the second set with practically no problem, a little tinge of pain here or there but nothing serious. For the third set, I decide that I would jog through the jumping jack section so as not to irritate my foot further. And, I think that is exactly what I needed because my foot did not hurt for the rest of the Pure Cardio session or even after the workout was over. Something was telling me to take a little break or to modify the jumping jacks and I am sure glad I listened.

I talked a little bit about this yesterday in the “dedicating your body” section. If something gives you a sharp pain when you do it, do something different!! As you read above, it’s imperative because something worse could happen that could set you back for longer than just a few seconds (as did with mine). Don’t feel bad if you have to skimp on your workout either. It’s better to leave a few minutes out as opposed to a few days if something serious comes of the pain.

Also, if you are doing your workouts barefoot on carpet, make sure to vacuum the floors once every few days. I haven’t vacuumed since last Friday and I stepped on a chip crumb dropped from my husband. Can you say ouch!!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 16: Dedicating Your Time and Your Body

Aside from the mental pressures that I have and will face through my “Healthier Me” journey, I have also faced the issue of time and pain. I may step on some toes here, but read me out because I’ve been in some of these situations as well. You are not and will not be the only one, I promise.

 I have heard several people complain about time in that they don’t have enough to time to work out. They blame it on their busy schedules even though if they had just reprioritized some things, they would have time. More likely than not, a lot of this so-called time that they don’t have is actually spent in front of the television. (I know because I used to be one of those people that didn’t want to sacrifice my shows to get up and do something that would actually benefit me.) If you are a truly busy person and want to lose some weight, you have to make it priority to find the time.

For me, when it comes down to it, I have to prioritize my workouts around sleep and work. And, hopefully I am not the only person to admit that I like sleep. I feel more refreshed if I have cat naps, I like sleeping in when I can, and I try to go to bed at a decent hour. I’m a big fan of sleep. (Just ask my husband.) For the few weeks before I started P90X, I would wake up at 6:30am, shower and go to my second job, Dairy Queen. When I finished up my work there, I would come home (usually between 8-10 am) and go straight to sleep. I would sleep up until about 2:20pm and then go to my first job from 3-11. I’d be home at about 11:30, eat some leftovers that my mom had made and then go to sleep for the night, only to start the whole thing over the next morning. When I started P90X, I didn’t really want to give up my sleep, but decided that I had to in order to see this thing through. I reprioritized my time and decided that my workout time would take the place of the nap after my second job. It worked well too AND I didn’t feel as tired either!

Since I currently do not have a second job, I do my workouts in the morning as soon as I get up (whenever that happens to be, usually between 9-10am). It’s a wonderful start to the day and I feel much more energized to do the rest of the things I have to do. Not to mention, I feel a lot better after a workout because I know that I did something to improve myself. On Saturdays and whenever I work the Audit Shift, it’s a little bit of a different story. We have church on Saturday mornings at 10:30am and in order to squeeze my workout in, I wake up at around 8am. On the mornings that I come home from my Audit Shifts at 7:15am, I do my workout then. This usually keeps me energized for a few hours more and I don’t go to sleep for quite some time later. Time may be your biggest hurdle, but it is something that you will have to get over in order to succeed. I didn’t like giving up the time that I spent sleeping at first, but once I started, it became easier to continue.

When it comes to the body, one the most common excuse for not wanting to workout, or even failing to do so, is because of pain. When you first start working out after a long time of being sedentary, it HURTS! Muscles that you didn’t even think you had suddenly “appear” and it becomes painful to do even the simplest of tasks. (When I started P90X, it hurt to walk for the first week. When starting Insanity, it hurt less and I could walk a lot easier, but my shoulders hurt more than they ever had.) This is something that you just have to push yourself through. Believe me, the pain does go away and from the pain you become stronger! (If you experience pain that you don’t think is associated with muscle soreness, either lay low for a day or two, do a modified exercise OR something similar, or contact a doctor. There is a difference and if you strike a nerve or stretch too far, you will feel that difference. So, be careful!)

I have to tell on myself now. This morning, I did not want to get up and exercise. I wanted to lay in bed all day until I had to go to work. This laziness was due to the fact that my body hurt all over. (Last night at work, I had to stock the maid’s cart with towels and heavy bundles of bedding that they would need for today. The cart that I had to push in order to fill the maid’s carts was HUGE and HEAVY. It was so heavy that pushing it to and fro made practically all the muscles in my legs very SORE! I had to use the entire weight of my body to push or pull this thing! I’m guessing it was a few hundred pounds. The bundles themselves are about 10 pounds in and of themselves and I had to haul several of those as well. It was a workout that I enjoyed but I do not relish the soreness that came from it.) Despite the fact that I wanted to be a Bed Potato, I made myself get up and do the workout (Plyometric Cardio Circuit). Once I started the workout, I could no longer feel the pain that was surging through my legs and back just minutes prior. It all went away (and then hit me again as soon as the workout was over.) Choosing to work out when you are sore is also a mental thing, but when you do decide to work out versus lying in bed, you feel a lot better about yourself. Don’t let the soreness that comes from working out steal you of your right to be healthier.

In this little portion, I would like to acknowledge someone who I think is a wonderful example of time well spent. She is a stay at home mommy to a precious little boy, a dedicated wife to a soldier, an online student who makes good grades, an avid scrapbooker, AND amongst all of that, she still finds time to exercise. She definitely deserves some applause because while her schedule seems to be crazy busy with raising a God-fearing little man, spending time with her husband, doing homework, and trying to find sleep among other things, she knows the importance of exercise and does her best to stick to it. She’s an inspiration and someone I can definitely learn from now and when I become a mother as well. Tiffany Comer, you are doing a GREAT job!!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

Day 15: Weigh Day and Progress Check One

I think I was psyching myself out yesterday about the whole Weigh Day thing. I fell asleep practically dreading it and almost didn’t want to get out of bed because of it. I was very fearful that Simon would not be so kind today. (I do not advise this. Being afraid of the scale is how some people get to where I was and beyond. If they avoid the scale completely, they have no idea and assume that it’s not that bad, when it could be. I avoided the scale for so long and somehow convinced myself that I wasn’t that overweight. Well, I was. In fact, I looked at a chart the other day based on my Height and Weight and it said that I was in the “Severe Obesity” range. I checked it again the other day and it said I was just “Overweight.” Ordinarily, this would not be something to be excited about. But, I’ve been in the “SO” range for practically my entire life and I am very happy to be out of it. The last 45 pounds that I have to lose will put me right in the middle of the “Healthy” range.)

If you are seriously committed to becoming healthier, then let that number represent where you WERE and will never be again. Let that number excite you because it’s got nowhere to go except down. This is a starting point and starting points are very important. Besides, you can’t walk a mile without taking the first step. Stepping on that scale is the first step in what feels like a million mile journey. One step at a time though and you can make it! Be encouraged. It is possible!

So, the big reveal of what I saw on the scale. Might I add that I did have a bad week as far as a few days of eating is concerned. I did, however, try to make up for that by doing an extra workout in the pool and perhaps the leisurely swimming I did on the 4^th made some kind of impact as well. I now weigh 174.6. Last Weigh Day, I started the day at 178. Later during that day, it dropped (for some odd reason) to 176.6. So, I am officially marking last week as a 2-pound week! (Two pounds doesn’t sound like a lot especially if you’ve seen The Biggest Loser, but it’s actually a better number to see after a week of exercise than 8 or 10. It’s a healthier way to lose weight and as far as I know, the only way to lose weight and keep it off long term. Yes, there are some exceptions, but as for me and my body, I’m perfectly fine with a 2-pound week.) I’m also very excited about getting into the 160’s.

While my 2-pound week is a good thing considering what I ate last week, I do not advise eating poorly for days at a time. It doesn’t make you feel better and it doesn’t truly bring you closer to the ultimate goal: becoming healthier. A cheat day is necessary every once in a while. My idea of “cheat day,” just so we are clear, is eating something that is BAD for only one portion of the day. PJ and I had a cheat day once where we went to the movies, drank some soda, ate some candy and then dined at Flamingo Row (a Hawaiian restaurant) for our meal. I didn’t end up eating all of my meal so I gave it to my mom. (I don’t like eating leftovers from a restaurant unless it’s the same day as when we went. This helped me rid myself of the temptation to eat it because it was no longer mine.) If your idea of a “cheat day” is different than mine, don’t feel bad. We are different and have different thoughts and ideas about different things. Pick what is best for you.

Onto today’s workout: Fit Test #2 (When I got up this morning I forgot how much of a workout it really is. I remember it briefly from two weeks ago, but thought it was a lot less insane than it turned out to be.) This one is the 32 minute session where you basically see how far you have come in the last two weeks. For instance, last week I could only do 21 sets of Power Kicks, today I could do 36. Last week I could only do 4 Globe Jumps, today I did 8. Last week I only did 18 Power Jumps, today it was 25. So, I am improving. (Some of the moves I couldn’t even finish last week.) And, while I’m not seeing a major change in my weight, the Fit Test tells me that working out with Insanity is making a difference.

What’d y’all think about those wedding dress photos from yesterday’s blog posting? Insane, right!? I almost couldn’t believe it myself. I still have a ways to go, but keeping my mind right and focused will get me there. Do you have some before and after pictures that you’d like to share? I’d love to see them!!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!

For that chart that I talked about earlier, you can access it at http://www.women-health-info.com/392-Height-Weight-charts.html Scroll down to the purple chart that says “Is Your Weight Healthy?” To convert your weight into kilograms, go to http://www.metric-conversions.org/weight/pounds-to-kilograms.htm. 

Day 14: The Significance of Clothes While Losing Weight

Today was the second rest day. Tomorrow is Weigh Day. And, to be honest, I’m not too thrilled to see what number’s gonna pop up. Like I said, I had a few weak days this last past week and while one weak day may not have much of an effect, weak days might. (It seems very unfair that it can take up to two weeks and longer to lose a few pounds but only a few days to gain it all back.) I’m hoping for a number that I can work with. I finally have my head in the game again and am seriously working out my will power as well to avoid tempting foods. (For instance, when I got into work today, there was a nice arrangement of suckers, licorice, glazed donuts, fruit gummies, and biscuits and gravy. Plenty of everything left. Thinking that I could eat one of the lower calorie foods, I looked on the side of the fruit juice gummy box for calorie information: 80 calories per bag. “Hmm, not bad…” Then, I picked up a bag and it probably had about ten pieces in it. NOT WORTH IT!! I let out a small sigh and walked away. I know that it won’t help me a bit so I will not be eating it.)

I posted a status about the goody table and not even minutes later, my husband called me at work and asked if I could bring some biscuits and gravy home. L Will I never get away from the bad stuff!! Lol.

If you haven’t read any of my earlier blogs, you can probably tell that eating right and exercising is purely mental. When it comes to exercise, your body is being told what to do by your mind. (Unless, as stated yesterday, your body simply cannot do something.) You make up your mind to exercise, you mentally push yourself to do more than you think you can, you decide what types of exercise to do; it’s all mental. Much the same, you decide what you are going to eat, what you are going to stock your cabinets and fridge with, how you are going to prepare it, etc. Once people decide to take control of their mind, they can do just about anything. It’s tough work sometimes but if you want to be successful, it’s something that absolutely has to be done.

Onto something new. I tried my wedding dress on for the first time since the wedding (March 2011). Technically, this would be the second time I’ve actually worn it. It is a very pretty strapless dress with five rhinestone flowers that hold a small bunch of ruffles just underneath the bust. (I’m not very good at describing it and I’m pretty sure “ruffles” is not the word. I’ll attach a picture.) It was the first one I tried on and one that I fell in love with. The back is held together with a long, thin piece of white fabric that “shoelaces” into a corset. So, the top part of the dress can be tightened and loosened depending on the size of everything above the waist. Seeing pictures now of what it looked like on me then makes me want to hide in some dark hole. It almost looks like my back is spilling out of the dress. (It had to be tightened a little more than normal because the front part would have been a little too revealing if it wasn’t tight enough.) My face also looks like I had stuffed cotton balls underneath my skin: I was a very chubby bride.

Anyway, I got my wedding dress out today and had to put the long, thin piece of fabric back into the back part of the dress. I put it as tight as it would go. The zipper was still zipped, so I slid it over my head, tugged at it in a few places to get the waist part past a certain area and it fell the rest of the way. I tried to take some pictures but it didn’t work too well. (For one, the dress didn’t have as much up top to hold onto so it was slipping down and I kept tripping over it. For two, my camera was low on battery power so I had to use my phone. And, the only way you can take a picture is on the front part of the screen. So, it’s really hard to take decent pictures. For three, when I did take some pictures I had to take them overhead and that was way too revealing for Facebook or a public blog. I also tried to hold the dress tighter and take a picture but that was to no avail as well. I got a little frustrated, took it off and hung it up for another try on. PJ can be the photographer next time.) All areas had gotten smaller but the ones I noticed the most were my collar bones, (before, they were covered in a layer of chub; now, you can actually see them distinctly) my back (it was no longer pouring out of the dress and it actually looked a little toned; I don’t see my back often so it was a huge surprise) and my stomach (in pictures, it looks like our wedding could have been a shotgun wedding. My tummy was very evident and it looks like I could have been about 4 or 5 months along if there was actually something there. It was impossible though, I was just fat.)

If you are starting a weight loss regimen, I encourage you to keep a piece of clothing that you can try on in a few weeks or months. It will amaze you! If you are currently losing weight, find something that you know used to be too tight or just right and try it on. This helps motivate you even more. I have a cute story about this.

In this case, my size 20 stretchy jeans that I had been wearing for quite a while were getting too big. I always had to borrow my husband’s belt (yes, he only has one) to get them to stay on and it was becoming a hassle because they had gotten to the point where they were all bunched in the front and it was simply unattractive. A friend of mine from church asked if I needed some jeans seeing the condition of my current ones and I said “yes.” The next week she gave me a size 14 pair of stretchy jeans and a size 14 pair of non-stretchy jeans. I was confident that the stretchy ones would probably fit. I was very hesitant though to try the non-stretchy ones on. In fact, I waited several days to try them on because I didn’t want to be disappointed if they did not fit. So, there they sat on my nightstand until I decided to put them on. (Backstory: I haven’t worn non-stretchy pants since middle school because I could never find the right size and if I ever did buy pants that didn’t have any stretch too them, they’d be several sizes too big so people would think I was thinner than I actually was. Lol.)

One morning, I opened my eyes, looked down at the nightstand and decided to hop out of bed to try these pants on. Nervous and trying to mentally prepare myself if they didn’t fit, I put one leg in, then the other and pulled them up. I looked down at the button and hoped for the best as I pulled the two sides toward each other to connect them. THEY FIT!!!! I didn’t have to suck it in or anything. THEY FIT!! I was so excited that I started hopping around the room doing my little victory dance as I hopped near the bathroom door where my husband was. With a big smile on my face, I told him that a size 14 non-stretch pair of jeans fit me! I don’t even know if I’d ever fit into a size 14 ever before.

Now, I like to browse through Facebook and find pictures of the fat me with clothes that I still own. I put the same clothes on and take a picture and then compare them. It’s a wonderful feeling and a true reflection of how far you’ve come when you decide to get your mind right. You should try it!!

Signing Out,
It's Possible!!

That's my wedding dress. The flowers are hiding the pretty rhinestones. My skinny sister is behind us. So pretty!! ...Pj has also  lost a LOT of weight too!! This picture makes me think that he's a White Klump (The Nutty Professor's Family!)

 Pouring Out of My Dress!!

 Shotgun Wedding??

It’s Possible!!Sideways...but you can see how big it is now...

Day 13: You're Gonna Have "Those" Days

Do forgive me for the last few days of my blog absence. I had a few days off in a row (which hasn’t happened in a looong time) and I decided to enjoy it a little too much and neglect my blogging responsibility. You didn’t miss much though. I did Cardio Recovery on Thursday and Cardio Power and Resistance on Friday. However, I have been bad the last few days and am trying to get over the nagging feeling of guilt.

Whenever you start any diet and exercise regime, you, or at least, I, feel guilty sometimes when I eat the wrong foods. I haven’t kept a close eye on the foods I’ve eaten in the last few days and am determined to get back on track with it. For the last few days, I’ve eaten more calories than I should have. I won’t go into details but some of the things that I’ve dined on include pizza, one cupcake, and some whoppers, among others things. To make up for the bad eating yesterday though, I did some exercising in my mom’s pool. I doggy paddle around the perimeter three times, ran back and forth in the shallow end (not easy when the water is going against you when you turn around), swam several laps, held the side of the pool and kicked my legs, and even some pull ups from the diving board. That made me feel a little better.

Anyways, as I was doing my workout this morning, Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs, I was thinking about the food that I had been eating. I wasn’t very happy with myself and I just decided that the best way to better my eating habits is to “just say no.” PJ (my husband), wanted pizza the other night and I didn’t because of the calories and the fact that I had just gone shopping for healthy stuff. I didn’t say no and we ended up eating pizza that night. It didn’t even taste that good, yet I still allowed myself to eat it. Next time, I’m just going to say “No.” I’m gonna tell myself that if I want to see a good number on Monday, I have to make my mind want to do the right thing. (When I have moments where I do make the right decisions, I feel so much better and a lot of the times, I forget what it was that I was being tempted about.) If PJ wants pizza, that’s fine by me, but I will just have something different. (Unless it’s a cheat day and then it’s ok.)

Also, even though you may eat something horribly unhealthy, it isn’t the end of the world. Chances are you won’t see any number change on the scale. If you repeatedly eat horribly unhealthy food, you can guarantee that it will reflect on the scale. I had three bad days. I’m not really excited about looking at the scale, but it’s not the end of the world. I know where I need to be more discipline and I plan to do it. A few bad days should also not be an excuse to give up completely. It may take a little more time, but if you keep at it and consistently keep your mind right, you will get to your goal weight. Don’t give up!!

About Day 13. It was Pure Cardio, that butt kicker of a workout that involves the 14 minutes of nonstop exercise. Like I said before, it’s not that bad if you find a place on the wall to focus on. Today was also the debut of Cardio Abs. This was a 16 minute workout that focuses on your abdominal muscles. You do the high knees move commonly seen in the warm ups on all the videos with a little bit of a twist, literally. As you are doing high knees, you twist your upper half side to side. You can definitely feel it too!! They also have seated ab exercises where you sit on the floor with your knees bent and your back in a position that makes your body look like a C with the curvy part on the bottom. Then, you use your arms in various ways so that you feel the burn in your abs (and your thighs!!). I like this workout better than the Ab Ripper X that we did in P90X. There are more things that I can do and I feel the burn a LOT more.

That was the basic workout today. I do, however, have something that I would like to address in this blog. It’s about motivation and depression when it comes to exercising.

I have talked to people who really want to work out, have more energy, eat healthier, and of course, look better. They get all motivated and excited about it one day but the next, it’s a completely different story. They are back to eating the same, doing the same stuff and feeling the same: pathetic and that they need to do something. I know, because I have been there several times before. Some of the reasons for this all too common experience is that we sometimes feel that we just cannot do the exercises the way the people on our videos are doing them. We can’t lift our knees above our waist like we are being told to do, we can’t hold a plank position and tighten our abs, we can’t do jumping jacks for half a minute, we can’t coordinate our body to do some of the things that we see. (These are all things that I have had problems with, or STILL have problems with.) The thing is, we are NOT supposed to be able to do it exactly like the people in the videos. (That is the ultimate goal, but if your body can’t stretch as far as Tony Horton, then it just can’t.) These are athletic people with buns of steel and chiseled abs, people who work out for a living. We are not going to be able to do everything exactly like them, especially the first go round. When I first started out with P90X, I could barely do 14 seconds of jumping jacks; and, I thought I was going to keel over afterwards. At the end, I could do a minute. Your body learns how to do this stuff. As you work it out, it gets stretched and toned, and it weighs less so that you can do more than you could when you started. There is no need to get depressed because fitness experts can do it and you can’t. This mindset will keep you bound and unless you break it, it’s likely that you won’t ever reach your goals. (This goes for anything in life, really.)

Another thing I have noticed is that people tend to give up after a day of eating poorly. They feel like a failure if they eat something unhealthy. This is far from the truth. As stated above, one unhealthy food is not the end of the world; it will not ruin your diet and it will not cause you to gain five pounds. It may take a little while to work off, but it doesn’t have to affect the entire outcome of your diet and exercise. Just get back on the horse and tell yourself that you can give yourself something every once in a while as a treat.

If your style of working out is in the gym, it is common to stop because you may not look like the other people you are working out next to. I used to have this issue as well when I had my gym membership. I felt very self-conscious around the fit people and sometimes slacked on my workouts because I didn’t want people to see how out of shape I was. I also didn’t want to feel that they were inwardly laughing at me because I didn’t know how to do the right stretches or because I was going super slow on the treadmill. This is all little stuff that your mind tells you that you just have to make yourself get over.  (They probably aren’t even watching you at all.) After all, how do you get, look, and feel better if you don’t do something to get, look, and feel better? It’s a vicious cycle, but you have to make up your mind to get over the shame and embarrassment you may feel. Besides, you are doing something to better yourself and that should push you through all the discomfort you feel.

Well, I guess I’ve blogged enough for the day. I hope that something in this post has helped you even if it’s the slightest bit. It is possible and you can do it!

Signing Out,

It’s Possible!!