Is It Real?

These last few days have been pretty uneventful. I’ve had a throbbing headache since Wednesday morning and it’s still lingering today. It really sucks and I’ve been trying to limit my activity. 

Basically, I’ve been lazy when it comes to packing (even though I’ve had ideas of what else to pack.)  A bunch of nothing has been accomplished except for the fact that I was able to do the dishes. (We’ve packed up 95%  of our dishes and if I want to eat off of plates or with spoons or forks, I have to wash the dishes.) So, there you have the recap of the last few days.

Oh yeah, I’ve watched a few episodes of the first season of Full House and some other movies, but other than that, not much. It stinks; I’m used to moving. I’m hoping this headache goes away soon especially since tomorrow OFFICIALLY starts my 2nd trimester and I’m supposed to be feeling better and more energetic. I’d love to feel normal.

Other than the fact that nothing has happened lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. (When you’re alone 75% of the time, it just tends to happen.) Mostly about the future and how none of it seems REAL. That’s my thing. I always ask myself “Is this real?” And, yes, it turns out to be real, but for me, life tends to throw things in my direction (and probably yours too) that make you ask that same question. 
For instance, Is it really real that PJ and I am having a baby? Well, yes, obviously, I’ve seen our little Poppy, I’ve heard his heartbeat several times, and I feel a lot different, have a crazy sense of smell, and have been avoiding foods and such because they look, smell or sound unappealing. Yeah, we are having a baby. I can deal with that reality, but it still doesn’t seem real. 

Another thing that I’ve been categorizing as “unreal” is the fact that we are moving to Ohio. I’ve never really thought of leaving Kentucky and up until a little while ago, had no desire to do so either. I’m also the type of person who likes to know details before I do something and with moving to a new place, those details are undefined (with the exception of knowing the most important details like where we will live and what churches are in the area to go to) but all the little things are so uncertain and I don’t like that aspect. It’s unsettling to my flesh (we are not supposed to be led by our flesh though.) Still, a lot of our boxes are packed, I’ve received the confirmation for the moving truck, we HAVE to be out of this apartment May 1st, yeah, it’s real…but it still doesn’t FEEL like it. 

Call me crazy, but the moments in life that are the most important or MAJOR are the hardest ones for me grasp as reality. Some past experiences where I felt like this include when my sister moved away to Georgia, when I went to college, when I said yes to Pj’s proposal, when we got married, when PJ went to Ohio for 2.5 months, when I realized that I wasn’t going to give up on myself (when I started my journey to lose weight.) Yes, all of these things were hard to accept as reality but I made it through that uncertainty and I know I will make it through these ones too. 

Hopefully I’m not the only one to feel these kinds of feelings. I know they pass.

With Thought,
Is It Real…